Heading off into who knows where…
Hey lovely friend, read Part 1 of this post first, or the following will make zero sense!
Let’s begin with the slowing down of the health and acne journey, as that started first.
The first thing that slowed down was my experimentation with natural skin care ingredients, because I decided to try the caveman regimen back in early 2012.
The caveman regimen is where you don’t wash your face, aside from perhaps splashing with some water here and there, and you don’t use anything at all on your skin.
It worked well for me and I simply loved the freedom of not having to do a skin care routine… so I’m still doing it to this day.
Then, back in let’s say late 2013, a couple of things happened.
I Finally Healed Ma’self
The first one was that I finally got over acne. By that, I mean… I finally got it to stop emotionally triggering me the way it did before.
After I got rid of my severe acne, I still frequently got some mild acne on my chin. It wasn’t a huge deal but after the trauma of the severe acne, every time it appeared it triggered this huge panic and anxiety.
But now, if I do get a few pimples, I don’t really care so much. I don’t love it, but I just get on with life.
If my acne started getting really bad again, I don’t know if I would be such a cool banana about it, but as it is, I’m mostly pretty chill about it.
So how did I do that?
Well for one, although the health and skin care experimentation was in many ways a fun hobby, the constant research of new things to try was also making me crazy, and didn’t seem to really be improving my skin all that much more.
See, you may have noticed that when it comes to figuring out the “right” diet, or the “right” way to take care of your health… well, the amount of contradiction can make you very fearful and insane, and… well, that’s stressful.
I realized that I was in many ways kind of afraid of food … I was afraid that if I relaxed my diet, or ate too much of anything I considered unhealthy (aka. what I deemed unhealthy at that moment in time, which was maybe different than last week, or last month, or last year) that it would trigger breakouts, and that would trigger those bad feelings, and so… well, yeah…
I realized that being too obsessed with food and health is actually not that healthy in itself, and that I might be better off to just stop.
So I stopped the constant research. The constant food experimentation.
I allowed myself to relax my diet a bit.
I began to just eat healthy whole foods, but not necessarily a particular “diet” with too many rules. I allowed myself plenty of treats, ordered whatever I wanted at restaurants, and ate whatever others served me.
And I was right. This was emotionally good for me, and it helped me heal.
Reiki & My Old Pal Estroblock
While I can’t promise you this was definitely the ticket to emotional freedom, the fear about acne was significantly different after that.
It was just….. so….. gone.
Coincidence? I don’t know. Can’t really say for sure, but I feel whatever happened was a definite good thing.
And then, soon after all this, I discovered something magical. The supplement Estroblock (aka DIM or diindolylmethane), and its liver supporting friend Thorne SAT (containing milk thistle and a few other herbs).
As much as I don’t really think there is a magic bullet when it comes to treating acne holistically, these supplements are as close as I have ever come to one.
For me, at least, it seemed to be the icing on the proverbial cake. My lifestyle was great and skin pretty good, but it was just that last boost that I needed to keep it consistently clear.
Getting My Groove On
To sum it up I’ve just kind of found my groove when it comes to my health, skin, and emotions.
What works for you may not be the exact same as me, but for the most part, I’ve figured out what works for me. And now instead of the constant experimentation, I’m just getting on with life.
And that’s great.
That’s how it should be.
I’ve gotten to the place where I want you to be.
I don’t want acne to be your hobby. I don’t want health to be your hobby.
Yes, initially figuring these things out can be a journey full of experimentation, but that experimentation shouldn’t necessarily last forever.
The thing I want most for you is to get beyond acne physically and emotionally and stop thinking about it, find your health groove, and live your life doing what you love.
And that’s what I’ve done for myself. So woohoo. Go me.
The Caveat Is…
For me though, this “groove finding” has lead to me to a unique challenge, one that most of you probably won’t ever face.
That’s that I simply don’t have as much to talk about on the The Love Vitamin blog anymore.
Without as much experimentation, and without many personal or emotional challenges to overcome in the last couple of years, there is far less inspiration for connection.
I still love sharing when I have something to say, and I love sharing other people’s stories (I know I am certainly not the only one with helpful things to say about natural acne treatment)…
But I realize that a big part of why The Love Vitamin is so loved – by both you and me – is because of the way that I have so intimately shared my own personal journey.
For the past five years, you have shared in every struggle; every lesson I ever learned.
And with the practical stuff… for example, if I hear about an awesome new natural treatment that others are having great results with … well I want to tell you about that, but it doesn’t feel nearly as interesting or relevant when I haven’t actually tried it myself, you know?
But all the things I have tried myself and have worked for me, well… I’ve already blogged extensively about them.
It’s just that I hate writing a blog post that doesn’t feel inspired or passionate! I want a story behind what I say! Personal stories are what give life to internet articles, and are what give life to my excitement.
Trapped Inside a Fermented Cucumber, Send Help
So this has left me in a bit of a pickle.
The pickle being that I just don’t really know what it means, and that makes me feel unsettled and insecure.
Because, well… I don’t want The Love Vitamin to die! It’s my baby! And my livelihood! And my… my, everything!
Why not keep it going so that it can stay high in the search engines and keep helping people new people who happen upon it? Is it not still of value?
It’s not like there isn’t piles and piles of stories and information and inspiration already here (over 450 blog posts and videos), even if I’m not going through anything particularly interesting at the moment myself.
And it’s not like there aren’t a ton of other people out there that have amazing stories that I can share with you through the blog.
But I realize that for the most part, I am the blog, and the blog is me. I know I couldn’t just remove my presence and expect it to have the same charm.
However, I also don’t want to say uninspired things and flog a dead horse (is the horse dead??? has The Love Vitamin jumped the shark?? Agh, I just don’t know!!)
I Was Terrified to Say It…
Thing is, I have been so scared to say this. I didn’t want to say it out loud.
Why?
Well, for one, because I didn’t want you to think it meant I didn’t care about you.
I also felt like saying it was too much of a commitment. What if I said it, and then every blog post would be scrutinized by you as to whether it felt like my heart was in it or not.
But the thing is… NOT saying it hasn’t done me any favours. It’s lead to me emotionally pulling away from The Love Vitamin even more.
As I said, me and you, we’re in a relationship here. And relationships don’t thrive when there isn’t honesty. Without honesty, the intimacy flies away.
So that’s why I finally worked up the lady balls to just say it. So we can renew the woo here, and perhaps the inspiration and intimacy will come rushing back.
I already feel better and closer to you spilling my guts like this!
Because it feels inspired, you see. It’s personal.
So maybe The L Vitamin ain’t dead and this is a dawning of a renewed love.
Anyway, there are a few other reasons that I’ve also felt like I’ve been emotionally pulling away from The Love Vitamin over the last while …
But I’ll save that for next week.
Thanks for listening. Love x
The post The Loss of A Journey – Tracy’s Personal Truth Vomit, Part 2 appeared first on The Love Vitamin.
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